Ah, blogging. I’ve avoided it on myspace and livejournal for some time, because it is not really like true journaling. People always end up reading one’s blog, and then someone, somewhere, gets pissed. It’s almost inevitable.

Maybe that won’t happen here. On the hope that it won’t, I’ll take a leap and write my thoughts.

Stressors of the last year:

1. Scott’s cancer

2. Lexi’s various altercations with the law

3. Having my family’s lives threatened due to one of those altercations

4. Finally packing up and putting away any hope of having a relationship with my sister

5. School

6. Jaimie’s incredibly bad choices

7. Money

I find it funny, that money part. Not that it made the list, but that it is on the bottom of it. Oh, we’ve had our money issues to be sure, and they loom large on the horizon, but… if you can feed your family, clothe and house them, then… last place is all it deserves on one’s list of stressors.

Kids… ah kids. Evil devil little bastards, oh how I love them. I believe I had children in this life to teach me how to relinquish control. Well, yes, I also had them because I had sex, but I think I was driven to continue repeated trying for as many babies as possible so that I could learn to give up being a control freak. Jaimie teaches me this, with her succession of boys, her employment difficulties, her lack of follow through, and her stupid b-b gun drive by incidents. She is almost twenty, they are her bad choices… and after all, mama don’t got no bail money, I always say. Lexi teaches me this also, with her fighting, her loudmouthed ways, her breaking of the law. They were not raised around these things, yet they do them. This is what I get for teaching the little bastards how to make their own decisions and abide by them.

Scott’s cancer. Well… can’t talk about it yet. Maybe soon, maybe not.

My sister. Well. I’m not sure I can talk about that yet either. Might be a whole ‘nother blog, that one.

School… still holding at only a 3.74 GPA. Not good enough. Independent investigation, incomplete class, and summer courses had better boost me back above 3.8. I need summa cum laude, and university honors, period. I roll to senior this year, time is running out to make up for those three B’s and the one C.

Enough for now.