The last year has been tough.

My fella, Scott, has been battling cancer. It metastasized from his throat, into his lungs. They removed the spots from his lungs, but we don’t know if they are all gone yet or not.

Also during the year, his ex-wife has been fighting cancer. Hers also metastasized. It saturated her lymph nodes… she is currently in the hospital, has been there for the last two weeks, and they have all the immediate family on standby. They didn’t figure she would last through yesterday, but she keeps hanging on.

Her last words spoken to this point were, “I love you” to her and Scott’s daughter, Katie. Katie just turned twelve last Friday. I can’t even begin to tell anyone the horror of what this little girl has been experiencing for the last year, watching both of her parents fight cancer, and then watching her mother lose the fight.

When Beth passes, Katie will come to us full time. For the last seven years or so, we’ve had joint custody of her… an equal split down the middle. Her and I have always been close… games, movies, talks, snuggles, doing hair and fingernails, that kind of thing. I gave her the menstruation talk, the sex talk, the drug talk, it’s what we do… we talk, we share.

Now, I’m going to be the only mom she has left. And, if Scott’s health doesn’t improve… I could be the only parent she has left.

I ache so badly thinking of how much she hurts.